Ski Torture

I make it look so easy don't I

I mentioned in a previous post that Alan got me a fast track ski lesson for Christmas…let me expand.

I had skied a bit as a teenager then had a refresher lesson a couple of years ago whilst living in Norway. I did better than I thought I would but make no mistake, I was happy just to get to the bottom of the slope without major injury. The problem I had was that I lacked the confidence to go back to the top on my own. Alan has never skied and he had to look after the kids anyway. So that’s about the sum total of my ability to ski. (Don’t be fooled by the photo!!!).

When we moved back to Aberdeen, we enrolled the kids into ski lessons on a local dry ski slope and have got quite good now. Alan has still never skied but likes the idea of a ski holiday to the Alps, so he decided that if I was better then I could supervise the kids on the piste while he learns. A good theory I grant you, it’s just the way he went about it…

Alan does not wait for anything, he has the concentration of a goldfish…he has the concentration of goldfish…he has the concentration of a goldfish…ok so get the idea. He decided to book me a 3 hour fast track adult ski lesson at Xscape in Glasgow which is basically a real snow slope, indoors (it’s refrigerated). Also he decided to do this on the 30th December, yes that’s right, the day before Hogmanay!

And to make matters worse, he was in Aberdeen so I had to go along myself as the lesson was from 7 til 10pm. So I donned my salopettes and hat and slung my skis over my shoulder like a professional and headed for my lesson.

There were 5 of us – 2 quite good and 3 pretty bad (I was one of the 3). He took us to the top of the slope and said, quite nonchalantly “down you go”. I tried, I fell. Shit totally shit. Not even slightly good.

So, skip 3 hours later and I’m actually pretty good apart from having no feeling in my arms on account of me using the rope tow* for 3 hours solid. By the end, I was parallel skiing and doing 5 turns on the slope. I hate to say it, I actually quite enjoyed it although 3 hours is too long by anyone’s standards, even the instructor called it a ‘tough shift’.

It’s a week later and my shins are still bruised! Looking forward to going again though, outside next time!

*The rope tow should not be confused with the poma tow that you stick through your legs – it’s just a moving rope which you hold onto to pull you up. So you have to hold your own weight each time you go up. 3 hours of this was torture but excellent for my bingo wings!